Change - 2011...

Am sitting in Quilla's house in Sydney..preparing to go to sleep.
I have been here for 3 days now, and feel like part of the family. The story is interesting and lengthy...so I shall not start here, but back at the beginning. And THAT shall take some time. So watch this space. :)

Change

Hi everyone just a little bit of time has passed since the last blog (lol). Just had a few thoughts I would like to share with everyone.

As you can see from the title "change" is what is on my mind. I think to some degree we are all resistant to change and although change is not always good, being stagnant achieves nothing.

We all know that SL has over the last 12 months made a few significant changes, among them the move to keeping "adult" content separate and more recently the release of Viewer 2.0.

Personally I have tried 2.0 and it is not for me, although in saying that there are some really good things about it and I am glad that we have the option of 3rd party viewers who I am sure will eventually incorporate some of the better changes in 2.0.

As I am sure most of this reading this are aware The Cage recently made it into the Second Life Destination Guide. Amber had applied before and never been accepted. The difference this time I truly believe is because of a mix of change and tradition – the new look of the club and the fact that it has been around since 2007.

We did expect to see some response to the inclusion in the guide, never in our wildest dreams did we expect it to such a large one. Being curious I decided to log into viewer 2.0 again (a) so I at least had some basics to help out new people; and (b) hoping to find out why V2 was causing such an impact. What I found when I went to search (yes I know from reading SL blogs that search sucks) was that there is a huge tab for Destination Guide, so it was obvious that that was the reason, I mean a new person clicking here there and everywhere to find out how things would could not miss it.

It has been a long time since I have been in an area where a lot of new SLers arrive. What I noticed (most of the new arrivals were between fresh born and 3 days old) was that out of all of those I am aware of only one running around with a freenis asking for sex. Yet in the past that was extremely common, and out of the numbers we had coming through would have been a lot more than one. I can only put it down to the change in adult content.

I have no problem with adult content, but I do think this is one change that has been for the better, we still have it but SL is about so much more than that. It is good that people coming in are now being exposed to other parts of SL. I am sure you have all seen many articles where Second Life was portrayed as mainly about sex even though it has always been about a plethora of things. So I think this change has been a success, even though I am sure there would be many who disagree.

We all know that SL have a history of mismanaging change, so I am hopeful that the upcoming changes they are making to Xstreet are as good as they look.

Feel free to let me know what you think?

Ciao for now

QQ

Amber

Some of you may be aware some may not so I am blogging so that you all know just how amazing Amber is.


A short while ago Shado came to Amber to let her know that due to things happening in his RL he had to let the sim go and offered her the option to take it over. As you can imagine it was a big decision, she didn’t want to move the Cage yet again. So she agonised over the decision whether to take on the time and financial commitment of the sim or just let it and the Cage go.


As I knew she would, because she doesn’t give up on things, she took over the sim so the Cage has a permanent home. Then Shado says to her he is clearing the sim so she needs to put something out and to play with the terraforming, best way to learn. She was in my IM going OMG I have no idea how to do this. Anyway the next day I log in and Amber is in my IM “come look” and there is this sim all snowy and when talking to her can hear the amazement at herself that wow it wasn’t that hard to do. But again I knew that she was more than capable of doing it all. Just like I was sure she would have no problems with subdividing land even though it was something she was concerned about, I watched her there with her little bits of wood calculating plot sizes, so gave her a plot sized prim and then she was off measuring, planning and adjusting land as if she had been doing this forever.


For days every night Amber was up most of the night working, terraforming, planting trees, redesigning the sim, creating a stunning winter wonderland not only for the people living on the sim but for everyone to enjoy. That is what I think she forgets sometimes about herself that makes a difference, Amber really enjoys seeing other people enjoy themselves. All the work it has taken her to get the sim to where it is, the time and the real money that she has committed to it she has done because of that. The easy option would have been to say oh well the club can close and the sim can disappear into the ethers after all it is SL things change all the time. But that is not who she is, Amber loves people, she loves the Club and seeing people enjoy themselves there and now as an extension of that she has the whole sim, where she will I know work to keep it a wonderful place to be both for the tenants and visitors.


Amber… you may have doubted yourself and let what other people think add to those doubts BUT I was always sure that your skills and capabilities would shine through and I am sure that many others reading this will agree. So the next time you doubt yourself in anyway just pop back to the blog quickly and have a read because this is a permanent reminder to YOU that you are a talented, tenacious, creative and a total people person and that who you are shines through in everything you do on SL and that my friend is why people come to the Club and now the sim…..

HUGGIES
QQ

SL and its effect on my RL.....

Well I could lie...and say it has NO effect on my Real Life...but pfft who am I kidding. Its 3 am...I couldn't sleep, so where do I come ..? Second LIfe....

Anyone who reads my profile....or chats with me...knows my opinions on the separation of the two worlds. I dont believe there IS a true separation.
Sure...you can schedule SL time in your day...and that is precisely how I began my SL life. There was a window during my day where I allowed myself to get lost in here.

Obviously as time went on and I established REAL relationships with people in world, that amount of time grew. It also became a part of my RL day - connecting with my online friends and of course the Cage. I have been doing the Club for over 2 years now...every day. I can honestly say that I still enjoy it. I still enjoy watching everyone dance, meeting and forming relationships, and the chat. I enjoy the networking and the interaction that comes from my time in SL...otherwise I wouldn't still be here.

So what keeps us here ? Is it escapism...is it a game ? Are the relationships formed here real or not? Is the club real ? My emphatic answer to all of these questions is YES. Yes the club is real...People choose to come the Cage and Dance and chat and meet friends...that is a REal feeling inspired by what we do in world...encouraging people to sit in front of their computers. YES the club is real ....I spend every day there organising hosts, schedules, lindens and competitions. The virtuality of it is of no consequence to me....for the people who are attending are REAL People :)

As for the friendships, the relationships I have formed in here. Of course they are real. My friends list is NOT that long, however I do have people in world who I have become very close to. The most interesting part about in world friendships is the basis on which they grow. The initial interaction, the connections that are made are always based on the pure personality of that individual. None of it is based on race, size, beauty or image. When in SL ...connections are very quickly established or not. ( Well for me anyway ! )

I value my relationships in sl. My time spent in here is limited, and I try to make the most of every minute. I do prioritise my time, and there are those who I will 'always ' make time for and will always be a priority for me. I try to be honest about my intentions in world...and always encourage my friends to reciprocate that honesty. I do not indulge in game playing, and I have no desire to judge others. This is not an environment in which ANY of us can know the absolute truth behind every persons avatar...and there is no place for judgement. Therefore our SL relationships can only be measured by behaviour inworld and the online depth and level of communication we allow ourselves to have with one another. ( eg emails, some of you even have mobiles ! MSN, Yahoo etc )

Whyyyy am I telling you this ??
I guess because I am questioning

I guess because of a number of reasons....I have had some definate changes in the direction of my Second Life journey recently, and it has given me the time and opportunity to step back and view things through different eyes.

Amber is not an easy person to be friends with! She is opinionated, kinda bossy, and sometimes downright outspoken. She talks a lot, sometimes too much and she tends to dominate conversations at the Cage. She tries to uphold a broad view of values and expectations in both worlds. She is however, Real...which means she doesn't always going to get it right !

I value my sl time more than ever now..! One would think that it would be less valued as time goes on ...and taken for granted more? The reality is the opposite has happened for me. I value others time more than ever. I see the worth in someones choice to spend time with me....I see the importance of that time more than ever. I appreciate the friendships offered to me more than perhaps those people realise.

I realise my worth as a friend, is measured by the time, the energy, the words, the efforts & behaviour people show towards me in world....all of these things do not go unnoticed by me. My observation, is that it appears a lot of us in world dont see this value. My concern is that we may lose what is a real friendship with someone, because we label it as virtual.

My hope is that we all realise the worth we have to each other. My message to those who might like to consider it....is that your in - world behaviour , your words, your time, the way you 'portray' your avatar - does become a measure of value to others...as their's is to you.

From my perspective ...after 2 years plus.....I can only impart this.
My RL has been blessed by the time I have spent in world with my dearest friends.
My RL life has only been enhanced by having these experiences.
My RL life has changed considerably because of the relationships I have formed in SL.

My SL continues ...
changing constantly
still learning.

I am in love!!!

With my new desk (pictures Amber rolling her eyes).

Yes sad I know but OMG it is beautiful, not to mention a bargain ... shhh don't tell anyone but aiming for the matching credenza now.

Why do I love it so much? Well like the rest of you I do spend quite a bit of time in front of my pc, so I like to have a nice area, this is solid, looks amazing and is just a lovely environment to be in.

Judge for yourself!!





Okay so I just had to toss in a picture showing the new shops on screen!!

Amber said...

lets go shopping later... but then Amber wasn't there.... soooooo Q left to her own devices bought some more land... and what to do with that land well of course what else move the shop out of the sky and on to the ground.

Amber arrives... Amber says ohhhhh lets go shop shopping... so off we toddle and us being us make a decision very fast come back with new shops.. spend the next couple of days setting it all up.

So we have two lovely new stylish shops that we spend a lot of time walking around and admiring.

When I get a chance will stick in a few pictures for you and try to think of something more profound to blog about!!

DONT give me that RL & SL lines dont blurrrr......

Oh Pleaseee ? If I read " I keep my RL and SL separate" on someones profile again - I'm gonna puke !!!!! Of course you dooooo....especially if your married with 3 kids and your having an SL relationship with the Queen of Sheba ..and your wife thinks your playing ONLINE CHESS !!!! Duh........
but lets face it !! SL involves RL feelings ALL THE TIME !!

Ok....so normally I try to sit on the fence when it comes to this discussion...because EVERYONE has their own take on this subject. Its almost as contraversial as the partnership / marriage conversations!!
However, recent conversations / activities in my Second Life have led me to some very certain conclusions about how we expend our energy in world.

The Club is a perfect example of this, and after being there for nearly 2 years, I feel confident in sharing these observations with you.
I am an avid group IM watcher, and I enjoy watching people interact. I feel I have learnt ( and continue to learn ) a lot about how characters interact in SEcond LIfe.
My goal, within sl and also in rl...is to simply show the respect to others - that I would like given to me. Sounds simple enough huh ? ..Well....

Sometimes, I fall off my wagon. Sometimes I am so busy enjoying myself, I cant see the forest for the trees. Sometimes, my opinions and my 'big mouth'...simply get in the way - and I realise too late, that I have in fact - broken my own rules ! As long as I eventually realise this...I am not too hard on myself. ( Depending on the carnage involved )
and I fall off sometimes...because I get caught in the vortex of the Second Life emotional roller coaster......

RL and SL are separate ...mmmmmm......ok .....

- tell that to the Avatar who insists on bringing their RL standards into SL.
- tell that to the Avatar sitting in the corner crying because their SL husband just left them.
- tell that to the Avatar who has been complaining to me for the past hour about how they were offended by the use of the word 'baby' in the context of the previous sentence.
- tell that to the Avatar who is the alt of someones brother who is spying on their X girlfriend while they dance with the alt of their best friend !
- tell that to the Avatar who is feeling hurt by others in world who were discussing his personality , and then cut and paste it to someone else ?

None of this has ANYTHING to do with Rl feelings right ???

RL and SL are separate !!
I dont agree. OMG....I sooooo dont agreeeeeeeee !!!!
Anyone will tell you, their SL feelings and interactions can effect their RL day.
Anyone will tell you, that their RL day can effect the way they interact in SL.
Anyone will tell you, that the reason they come to SL or talk to a particular friend in world, is because of the RL feelings that inspire them to return.
Anyone will tell you, if someone in SL decides to label you a certain way ( eg. arrogant, naive, dumb for whatever reason ) ...it is taken personally....involving RL feelings.

Anyone who has expressed Love, devotion, care or concern for someone in SL ..KNOWS that ALL these feelings are not limited to SL...they extend beyond the screen to the real person behind it. The real person, with real feelings.

Needless to say, many folk in SL portray feelings that simply dont exist. Many make brazen remarks regarding others feelings and personalities without considering the consequences on ones rl feelings.

We have a small chat box ( for the majority ), and the words chosen to communicate need to be chosen with care. Voice eliminates a lot of confusion, but generally we use the chat. One word, one sentence can be misconstrued, misunderstood, perceived in many different ways. We need to take care with the words we choose, because like it or not, RL feelings WILL be effected by your comments.

I dare to say it is an impossible task, to keep RL and SL separate. Along with the experience at the Cage, a lot of people ask us...What do people want ? Why do people come back ? What is the lure of the Cage? Or why DONT people come back ??

There is simply ONE answer I can give - and I give it with absolute confidence.
People go back to a venue in sl ...be it a Club, a particular sim , a role play area whatever .....because they ENJOY it ...!! Simple...they ENJOY IT in RL. It is not their Avatar having feelings of joy, or pleasure! It is not their avatar, typing words onto the screen, its the Real person, who makes a RL decision to log on, because of their RL feelings.

Of coure there are other factors....They may Enjoy the atmosphere ! = RL Feeling.
They may enjoy the MUSIC = RL feeling.
They may enjoy the COMPANY = RL feeling.

'Some' people can separate. Some people are able to completely define their role play in SL, and remain 'removed' emotionally. ( eg Zombies ) I suggest to you that even these stalwart, hard - core individuals, allow their RL feelings to contribute to their SL.

People come back to the Cage because they enjoy it in their RL !! Simple !!
The eternal theory of SL and RL being separate entities is a myth, as far as I can see...you cannot have one without the other !

Amber winks !! I wouldnt be here ...if my RL body didn't sit down at the computer and log on :)

P.S....I think its grand ....and fantabulous....that my RL feelings cross into SL.
I feel honoured and privelaged to be able to experience and learn in RL ...from the individuals I meet in SL. I encourage you all to embrace the philosphy that the two go hand in hand.....go for the ride....stop fighting the crossover and go with it. Learning about yourself is always liberating. Sure..it sucks sometimes too, but you cant have it all one way :)