Oh Pleaseee ? If I read " I keep my RL and SL separate" on someones profile again - I'm gonna puke !!!!! Of course you dooooo....especially if your married with 3 kids and your having an SL relationship with the Queen of Sheba ..and your wife thinks your playing ONLINE CHESS !!!! Duh........
but lets face it !! SL involves RL feelings ALL THE TIME !!
Ok....so normally I try to sit on the fence when it comes to this discussion...because EVERYONE has their own take on this subject. Its almost as contraversial as the partnership / marriage conversations!!
However, recent conversations / activities in my Second Life have led me to some very certain conclusions about how we expend our energy in world.
The Club is a perfect example of this, and after being there for nearly 2 years, I feel confident in sharing these observations with you.
I am an avid group IM watcher, and I enjoy watching people interact. I feel I have learnt ( and continue to learn ) a lot about how characters interact in SEcond LIfe.
My goal, within sl and also in rl...is to simply show the respect to others - that I would like given to me. Sounds simple enough huh ? ..Well....
Sometimes, I fall off my wagon. Sometimes I am so busy enjoying myself, I cant see the forest for the trees. Sometimes, my opinions and my 'big mouth'...simply get in the way - and I realise too late, that I have in fact - broken my own rules ! As long as I eventually realise this...I am not too hard on myself. ( Depending on the carnage involved )
and I fall off sometimes...because I get caught in the vortex of the Second Life emotional roller coaster......
RL and SL are separate ...mmmmmm......ok .....
- tell that to the Avatar who insists on bringing their RL standards into SL.
- tell that to the Avatar sitting in the corner crying because their SL husband just left them.
- tell that to the Avatar who has been complaining to me for the past hour about how they were offended by the use of the word 'baby' in the context of the previous sentence.
- tell that to the Avatar who is the alt of someones brother who is spying on their X girlfriend while they dance with the alt of their best friend !
- tell that to the Avatar who is feeling hurt by others in world who were discussing his personality , and then cut and paste it to someone else ?
None of this has ANYTHING to do with Rl feelings right ???
RL and SL are separate !!
I dont agree. OMG....I sooooo dont agreeeeeeeee !!!!
Anyone will tell you, their SL feelings and interactions can effect their RL day.
Anyone will tell you, that their RL day can effect the way they interact in SL.
Anyone will tell you, that the reason they come to SL or talk to a particular friend in world, is because of the RL feelings that inspire them to return.
Anyone will tell you, if someone in SL decides to label you a certain way ( eg. arrogant, naive, dumb for whatever reason ) ...it is taken personally....involving RL feelings.
Anyone who has expressed Love, devotion, care or concern for someone in SL ..KNOWS that ALL these feelings are not limited to SL...they extend beyond the screen to the real person behind it. The real person, with real feelings.
Needless to say, many folk in SL portray feelings that simply dont exist. Many make brazen remarks regarding others feelings and personalities without considering the consequences on ones rl feelings.
We have a small chat box ( for the majority ), and the words chosen to communicate need to be chosen with care. Voice eliminates a lot of confusion, but generally we use the chat. One word, one sentence can be misconstrued, misunderstood, perceived in many different ways. We need to take care with the words we choose, because like it or not, RL feelings WILL be effected by your comments.
I dare to say it is an impossible task, to keep RL and SL separate. Along with the experience at the Cage, a lot of people ask us...What do people want ? Why do people come back ? What is the lure of the Cage? Or why DONT people come back ??
There is simply ONE answer I can give - and I give it with absolute confidence.
People go back to a venue in sl ...be it a Club, a particular sim , a role play area whatever .....because they ENJOY it ...!! Simple...they ENJOY IT in RL. It is not their Avatar having feelings of joy, or pleasure! It is not their avatar, typing words onto the screen, its the Real person, who makes a RL decision to log on, because of their RL feelings.
Of coure there are other factors....They may Enjoy the atmosphere ! = RL Feeling.
They may enjoy the MUSIC = RL feeling.
They may enjoy the COMPANY = RL feeling.
'Some' people can separate. Some people are able to completely define their role play in SL, and remain 'removed' emotionally. ( eg Zombies ) I suggest to you that even these stalwart, hard - core individuals, allow their RL feelings to contribute to their SL.
People come back to the Cage because they enjoy it in their RL !! Simple !!
The eternal theory of SL and RL being separate entities is a myth, as far as I can see...you cannot have one without the other !
Amber winks !! I wouldnt be here ...if my RL body didn't sit down at the computer and log on :)
P.S....I think its grand ....and fantabulous....that my RL feelings cross into SL.
I feel honoured and privelaged to be able to experience and learn in RL ...from the individuals I meet in SL. I encourage you all to embrace the philosphy that the two go hand in hand.....go for the ride....stop fighting the crossover and go with it. Learning about yourself is always liberating. Sure..it sucks sometimes too, but you cant have it all one way :)
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Excellent, valid viewpoints I must say. The mixing of SL and FL sort of mirrors the acting industry. There have been many cases where two actors/actresses share intimate moments with each other in character and on screen, and later form a connection with each other that blossoms into something wonderful off screen.
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