I was recently referred to ..as a Drama Queen. Yes , I know ..can u believe it ??
Now, normally - I would be offended by a statement like this - because I do my best to avoid Drama. However, it seems, that this opinion could be shared by others.
What was interesting about this statement, is that it made me realise, that in this particular instance - I WAS in fact, being a drama queen. What can I say ? It happens. It was a defining moment for me...because it brought me back into perspective. It also was a defining moment to realise the person who told me, knew me well enough to recognise my behaviour had reached Drama Queen proportions - and was comfortable enough in our friendship to say so. My first reaction was to actually thank this person - for slapping me back down to earth...( sl earth so to speak )
The thing is ...in here - this damn little box we use to communicate - is often all we have. If we dont get the right words in there - all hell can break loose in our minds. Yes !! It can !! Especially us women.
However, the thing to note here is....I dont throw a tantrum over small things. If I feel strongly about something, I will persue my convictions and wont back down easily. Sometimes this can be misconstrued as a " Drama Queen " episode or a " Tantrum". Quite frankly, if your lucky enough to be that close to me to experience either of these, its a damn privelage. I dont crack easily. :)
So ...Im going to hand out a few tips here for you people who chat to me in IM.
- first of all - if u engage an Im with me , this requires one on one communication with me. Im not a fan of starting a convo then wizzing off to chat to 10 other people, while you leave me hanging ??? If I have you in IM , I will speak to you and only you and other Ims will wait. That is just how I am.
- secondly, if you leave...please say goodbye. I dunno if I need to wait for that next sentence or if your afk, or what . Drives me nuts...if you dont say goodbye.
- thirdly, choose your words carefully. I speak to a lot of different people in Second Life. Surprisingly, it is a small world. If your going to discuss other people with me ( ie bitch and moan ) be sure to have your facts straight, as the reality is, I probably know who your talking about LOL. I am completely over ' hearing' what someone said " I said or did" or didnt do. If you need information about me or something I said or did , ASK ME !! You know what they say ....its always best to get it straight from the horses mouth. I also choose not to listen to gossip / innuendo about other people. I make my own choices about personalities in SL, and its rarely based on others opinions.
As for the Drama Queen thing. I am the first to admit, over indulging in Second Life, can create a vortex of misunderstood sentences, inaccurate perceptions, and ultimately complete distortions of the intended message. I try to maintain perspective daily in Second Life. Sometimes I lose it...just like everybody else.
Im lucky to have good people around me - who love me enough to tell me when I'm spinning out of control.....it doesnt happen often. But it can happen.....
I believe - A little Drama Queen Tantrum once in a while - doesnt hurt anybody !
I intend to have more episodes.....
stay tuned.
-
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Second Life in First Life
Reading Amber's blog made me realise how different our SL is from a lot of people's. Like Amber SL is not something I have to hide, my whole family is aware of it and sitting here thinking about it, they are not just aware of it but SL is very much a part of my FL.
Okay for starters one of the reasons I use the term FL (First Life, not Florida!!), is that for me the term real life is not an apt term as I consider both my first life and second life to be "real". I am interacting with "real" people, have "real" friends, "real" feelings… you get the point!!
Amber and I spend quite a bit of time when inworld in private voice, the reason we usually stick to private is that our first lives go on around our SL, at any given time we both have family popping in and out of the room, Amber's family know who I am and my family know who she is. We will be up and down doing things in FL while on SL, chatting to kids, answering questions and all sorts of "normal" first life stuff. As Amber said you do get very quick with camming away when there are things around children shouldn't see or I find more often that during the time my child is around I am at the Cage so camming away is not an issue but using the inventory box to cover chat that a child shouldn't see is a handy skill!!
But I love that she is comfortable with my second life, that it is not something weird to her, yes she thinks of it as "mummy's game" but I really am not getting into the difference between a game and SL to a 9 year old!! She knows all my friends on sight, many times I will be at the Cage and she will walk in the room and go "oooh I like what MaD is wearing" and can pick all my friends AVs from across the room. And woe betide if I don't call her in to see the latest AV Pang is sporting …. mum is in trouble then… lol.
There are times when SL is all mine, no one is around and I can totally enjoy "my world" but I do love that I can also share it. An example of this was when I went on a tour of the Dresden Gallery in SL, and listened to the "audio tour". My daughter sat next to me as my AV wandered around a famous art gallery on the other side of the world, something that we would never have the chance to do in First Life.
And how do my family benefit from my being on SL? Well they have a person who is much more content and happy, trivial things that before would drive me crazy no longer bother me because I am happy in myself.
So Madam Amber to your FL friends who don't even want to acknowledge or understand SL… I say PFFFTTT to them because they are the ones missing out and I know that you would love to share the fun times on SL with them but that is their loss not yours and be glad that your immediate family are fine with you having SL as part of their lives because in that we are both blessed.
Ciao for now Q
Okay for starters one of the reasons I use the term FL (First Life, not Florida!!), is that for me the term real life is not an apt term as I consider both my first life and second life to be "real". I am interacting with "real" people, have "real" friends, "real" feelings… you get the point!!
Amber and I spend quite a bit of time when inworld in private voice, the reason we usually stick to private is that our first lives go on around our SL, at any given time we both have family popping in and out of the room, Amber's family know who I am and my family know who she is. We will be up and down doing things in FL while on SL, chatting to kids, answering questions and all sorts of "normal" first life stuff. As Amber said you do get very quick with camming away when there are things around children shouldn't see or I find more often that during the time my child is around I am at the Cage so camming away is not an issue but using the inventory box to cover chat that a child shouldn't see is a handy skill!!
But I love that she is comfortable with my second life, that it is not something weird to her, yes she thinks of it as "mummy's game" but I really am not getting into the difference between a game and SL to a 9 year old!! She knows all my friends on sight, many times I will be at the Cage and she will walk in the room and go "oooh I like what MaD is wearing" and can pick all my friends AVs from across the room. And woe betide if I don't call her in to see the latest AV Pang is sporting …. mum is in trouble then… lol.
There are times when SL is all mine, no one is around and I can totally enjoy "my world" but I do love that I can also share it. An example of this was when I went on a tour of the Dresden Gallery in SL, and listened to the "audio tour". My daughter sat next to me as my AV wandered around a famous art gallery on the other side of the world, something that we would never have the chance to do in First Life.
And how do my family benefit from my being on SL? Well they have a person who is much more content and happy, trivial things that before would drive me crazy no longer bother me because I am happy in myself.
So Madam Amber to your FL friends who don't even want to acknowledge or understand SL… I say PFFFTTT to them because they are the ones missing out and I know that you would love to share the fun times on SL with them but that is their loss not yours and be glad that your immediate family are fine with you having SL as part of their lives because in that we are both blessed.
Ciao for now Q
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
WHY DONT MY RL FRIENDS WANNA COME IN WORLD ?
This is an interesting question !!! I dont know how it is in America or other countries...but Second LIfe is perceived in Australia as a seedy game for people to get on board and have lots of sex, which of course cause dramas with your rl partner. FOR ME it could be nothing further from that.....
I have NOT become obsessed with online sex....and have not managed to leave my RL partner over it ....he accepts SL as part of my relaxation and enjoyment. The family choose to watch the Simpsons for hours on Tv...and I dont. My husband watches hours of Surfing on cable...and I dont ....so it all evens out. He often comes over to the screen, and says hello to my friends ....sharing a joke or a comment about their clothing....and walks away. My kids look briefly, and I am careful about what I allow them to see. The camera moves quickly when u need it to. :)
( I realise I am luckier than most....as we know many people's partners resent SL and consider the connections 'affairs' etc. If only they realised its much better for your RL partner to have an 'online' lover than a RL lover. )
I get very frustrated when people blame sl for marriage breakdowns. If the relationship was solid and fine to start with - SL is not going to destroy it. Marriages breakdown for many more reasons - other than Second Life. Im not sure if these people realise it...but people are having on line sex on Yahoo, Msn, and various other online spaces on the net. Second Life certainly doesnt have the corner on this market !
The thing that probably frustrates me the most....is that NONE of my RL friends or family for that matter ..understand SL ...however are very quick to judge it and criticize it ! I would love nothing more than to meet my dear RL Friends on here and party the night away !! Not all live close by anymore..and I know that if they ever bothered to jump in ...they would have a BLAST !!
One friend would make a fortune singing Live on sl !! Yes my dear ..u know who you are. Another would be a marvellous teacher on here !! I see our world as a simple extension of the old days of Pen Pals ...!!
I have met SL men who regularly meet their college mates online and play poker. There are large corporations holding board meetings in world ? Why wont my friends just come have a dance ? Alas...they dont. I shall remain the poor sad person who has become addicted.....yes ADDICTED to SL....Happily Addicted. I could be addicted to alcohol, drugs or the Milkman. I think my choice is ok :)
The rumors have circulated regularly amongst my rl friends - that I have 'lost the plot' and 'need help'. Little do they realise - that I have some of the most stimulating conversations with people from America, Canada, England....etc etc...and am learning sooo much about the world by chatting in this global Environment. I am also learning a lot about the technology of Second Life, and building. It is by far, the most creative place I have ever been.
My darling sister managed to publicy scrutinize me at a recent family function ....not long after there had been an OVER published report about a woman divorcing her husband for having an 'online affair ". First of all ..it was near impossible explaining to her the ridiculousness of divorce over a virtual relationship....and second of all ...she kept referring to the people I meet on here as 'not real' ? ....I kept reminding her that I was in fact a REAL person...and so are all the others...she continued to berate me in front of my family, to which I had to turn away and simply say ...You dont understand SL. It is an individual journey for every person, and we all make choices. She very smartly told me ..that her friends on Facebook are REAL !! duh ? As is her name on Facebook ...and her RL pics that she posts for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE ! but noooo ...Im the one whose lost the plot ??? The fact that I participate in SL with a psuedo name of Amber....and NO RL pics of myself...seemed to be of no relevance ????? I didnt judge her choice to publicly disclose her real life name and pics on the internet. ( and she wonders why I wont join it ?? )
I went out recently with a bunch of girlfriends, one of whom was meeting up with a guy she had met 'on the internet'. Nobody at the table questioned this at all. Well perhaps it was discussed... briefly...but we were all excited to meet the 30 year old man my friend was about to meet. This man was driving for an hour and a half to meet my gf ...and 'have a drink'. As we waited, one of my friends said to me...."He could be an axe murderer ?". I scanned the room, which was more like a meat market than anything else...and I said to her calmly..."There are probably a few 'axe murderers' here my dear....!"
Just because someone is online doesnt make them a deviate !!!
BTW...the guy ended up being 46...and a non smoker. My gf smokes like a chimney, is a party animal and this guy was a greenie who didnt smoke or drink and protected the environment. Needless to say he left after half an hour.
The other aspect in sl....is that we dont need to lie. We dont need to manifest false ages, false heights, false stories...because there is no need to !! Many still do...but the reality is ...we dont need to ! We can be who we are ..in the security of our Avatars. The usual 'judgement' from others is basically non existent. We have a small box....that relies on words only. Using the oldest, most basic form of communication, words and our minds. We meet each other and connect with that little box and our words. We decide if we connect with that mind or not....based on the words we share. RL race, colour, shape, size and age - are of no consequence !!
My kinda place :))
I have NOT become obsessed with online sex....and have not managed to leave my RL partner over it ....he accepts SL as part of my relaxation and enjoyment. The family choose to watch the Simpsons for hours on Tv...and I dont. My husband watches hours of Surfing on cable...and I dont ....so it all evens out. He often comes over to the screen, and says hello to my friends ....sharing a joke or a comment about their clothing....and walks away. My kids look briefly, and I am careful about what I allow them to see. The camera moves quickly when u need it to. :)
( I realise I am luckier than most....as we know many people's partners resent SL and consider the connections 'affairs' etc. If only they realised its much better for your RL partner to have an 'online' lover than a RL lover. )
I get very frustrated when people blame sl for marriage breakdowns. If the relationship was solid and fine to start with - SL is not going to destroy it. Marriages breakdown for many more reasons - other than Second Life. Im not sure if these people realise it...but people are having on line sex on Yahoo, Msn, and various other online spaces on the net. Second Life certainly doesnt have the corner on this market !
The thing that probably frustrates me the most....is that NONE of my RL friends or family for that matter ..understand SL ...however are very quick to judge it and criticize it ! I would love nothing more than to meet my dear RL Friends on here and party the night away !! Not all live close by anymore..and I know that if they ever bothered to jump in ...they would have a BLAST !!
One friend would make a fortune singing Live on sl !! Yes my dear ..u know who you are. Another would be a marvellous teacher on here !! I see our world as a simple extension of the old days of Pen Pals ...!!
I have met SL men who regularly meet their college mates online and play poker. There are large corporations holding board meetings in world ? Why wont my friends just come have a dance ? Alas...they dont. I shall remain the poor sad person who has become addicted.....yes ADDICTED to SL....Happily Addicted. I could be addicted to alcohol, drugs or the Milkman. I think my choice is ok :)
The rumors have circulated regularly amongst my rl friends - that I have 'lost the plot' and 'need help'. Little do they realise - that I have some of the most stimulating conversations with people from America, Canada, England....etc etc...and am learning sooo much about the world by chatting in this global Environment. I am also learning a lot about the technology of Second Life, and building. It is by far, the most creative place I have ever been.
My darling sister managed to publicy scrutinize me at a recent family function ....not long after there had been an OVER published report about a woman divorcing her husband for having an 'online affair ". First of all ..it was near impossible explaining to her the ridiculousness of divorce over a virtual relationship....and second of all ...she kept referring to the people I meet on here as 'not real' ? ....I kept reminding her that I was in fact a REAL person...and so are all the others...she continued to berate me in front of my family, to which I had to turn away and simply say ...You dont understand SL. It is an individual journey for every person, and we all make choices. She very smartly told me ..that her friends on Facebook are REAL !! duh ? As is her name on Facebook ...and her RL pics that she posts for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE ! but noooo ...Im the one whose lost the plot ??? The fact that I participate in SL with a psuedo name of Amber....and NO RL pics of myself...seemed to be of no relevance ????? I didnt judge her choice to publicly disclose her real life name and pics on the internet. ( and she wonders why I wont join it ?? )
I went out recently with a bunch of girlfriends, one of whom was meeting up with a guy she had met 'on the internet'. Nobody at the table questioned this at all. Well perhaps it was discussed... briefly...but we were all excited to meet the 30 year old man my friend was about to meet. This man was driving for an hour and a half to meet my gf ...and 'have a drink'. As we waited, one of my friends said to me...."He could be an axe murderer ?". I scanned the room, which was more like a meat market than anything else...and I said to her calmly..."There are probably a few 'axe murderers' here my dear....!"
Just because someone is online doesnt make them a deviate !!!
BTW...the guy ended up being 46...and a non smoker. My gf smokes like a chimney, is a party animal and this guy was a greenie who didnt smoke or drink and protected the environment. Needless to say he left after half an hour.
The other aspect in sl....is that we dont need to lie. We dont need to manifest false ages, false heights, false stories...because there is no need to !! Many still do...but the reality is ...we dont need to ! We can be who we are ..in the security of our Avatars. The usual 'judgement' from others is basically non existent. We have a small box....that relies on words only. Using the oldest, most basic form of communication, words and our minds. We meet each other and connect with that little box and our words. We decide if we connect with that mind or not....based on the words we share. RL race, colour, shape, size and age - are of no consequence !!
My kinda place :))
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
HAHALOLROFL:)
Smiley Faces and the LOL .........
After reading pangs blog regarding critiques of his work..AND how he was given negative feedback followed by the courteous smiley face - it got me thinking about all the little things we do in here. For example - I seem to have created a trademark typing character with my dots........ Its simply my way of pausing as I speak. I realise though it annoys the absolute fuck out of some people. I used to have a question mark fetish ..????? It seems I have replaced it with the dots.
Someone recently said to me, you just send me a smiley face when ur busy and u dont have time to talk. THIS IS NOT TRUE ! However I am sure some people do practice this 'fake smile' - I most certainly do not. I need it to be known, that when I offer you a :) it is because I am genuinly smiling. I agree with Pang when he gets pissed off at someone who is actually putting shit on you ....ending the smart arse remark with a smile. Its condascending. Almost like ending an abusive remark with the word sweetie ? ( eg. Those boots look absolutely dreadful with that outfit sweetie:) Well maybe not quite like that - but u know what I mean.
As for the LOL.....dot dot dot.....I LOVE laughing. I usually use the abbreviation HAHAHA when Im really laughing a lot...and of course the length varies depending on how funny it is ! I do agree with pang that we use LOL way too much. I would like to see us being somewhat more inventive with our laughter. Perhaps we could vary the types of laughter. I often snort when I laugh ..so sometimes I actually type the word SNORTING. I would like to encourage others to do the same. Quilla laughs like Mutley ! You know off Wacky Races the cartoon...when she really gets going - she does what I call a 'Mutley'. This means shes really having a hard time catching her breath. Then there is the 'rofl'. I tend to roll on the floor so I do use that one a lot. Another one I like to use....is 'clapping hands' for when Im extremely impressed with something funny - it indeed makes me want to clap my hands.
I also have a "Mt. Vesuvius " which is clearly when u hold your breath trying NOT to laugh , because your on voice late at night or whatever...and holding the laugh in only makes you laugh more....so eventually it explodes out your mouth ..like...Mt. Vesuvius.
Really - we could go on and on. I look forward to a whole new set of LAUGHING abbreviations that you should leave on here in our comments section and of course we shall archive them in the DICKtionary!!
After reading pangs blog regarding critiques of his work..AND how he was given negative feedback followed by the courteous smiley face - it got me thinking about all the little things we do in here. For example - I seem to have created a trademark typing character with my dots........ Its simply my way of pausing as I speak. I realise though it annoys the absolute fuck out of some people. I used to have a question mark fetish ..????? It seems I have replaced it with the dots.
Someone recently said to me, you just send me a smiley face when ur busy and u dont have time to talk. THIS IS NOT TRUE ! However I am sure some people do practice this 'fake smile' - I most certainly do not. I need it to be known, that when I offer you a :) it is because I am genuinly smiling. I agree with Pang when he gets pissed off at someone who is actually putting shit on you ....ending the smart arse remark with a smile. Its condascending. Almost like ending an abusive remark with the word sweetie ? ( eg. Those boots look absolutely dreadful with that outfit sweetie:) Well maybe not quite like that - but u know what I mean.
As for the LOL.....dot dot dot.....I LOVE laughing. I usually use the abbreviation HAHAHA when Im really laughing a lot...and of course the length varies depending on how funny it is ! I do agree with pang that we use LOL way too much. I would like to see us being somewhat more inventive with our laughter. Perhaps we could vary the types of laughter. I often snort when I laugh ..so sometimes I actually type the word SNORTING. I would like to encourage others to do the same. Quilla laughs like Mutley ! You know off Wacky Races the cartoon...when she really gets going - she does what I call a 'Mutley'. This means shes really having a hard time catching her breath. Then there is the 'rofl'. I tend to roll on the floor so I do use that one a lot. Another one I like to use....is 'clapping hands' for when Im extremely impressed with something funny - it indeed makes me want to clap my hands.
I also have a "Mt. Vesuvius " which is clearly when u hold your breath trying NOT to laugh , because your on voice late at night or whatever...and holding the laugh in only makes you laugh more....so eventually it explodes out your mouth ..like...Mt. Vesuvius.
Really - we could go on and on. I look forward to a whole new set of LAUGHING abbreviations that you should leave on here in our comments section and of course we shall archive them in the DICKtionary!!
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