This is an interesting question !!! I dont know how it is in America or other countries...but Second LIfe is perceived in Australia as a seedy game for people to get on board and have lots of sex, which of course cause dramas with your rl partner. FOR ME it could be nothing further from that.....
I have NOT become obsessed with online sex....and have not managed to leave my RL partner over it ....he accepts SL as part of my relaxation and enjoyment. The family choose to watch the Simpsons for hours on Tv...and I dont. My husband watches hours of Surfing on cable...and I dont ....so it all evens out. He often comes over to the screen, and says hello to my friends ....sharing a joke or a comment about their clothing....and walks away. My kids look briefly, and I am careful about what I allow them to see. The camera moves quickly when u need it to. :)
( I realise I am luckier than most....as we know many people's partners resent SL and consider the connections 'affairs' etc. If only they realised its much better for your RL partner to have an 'online' lover than a RL lover. )
I get very frustrated when people blame sl for marriage breakdowns. If the relationship was solid and fine to start with - SL is not going to destroy it. Marriages breakdown for many more reasons - other than Second Life. Im not sure if these people realise it...but people are having on line sex on Yahoo, Msn, and various other online spaces on the net. Second Life certainly doesnt have the corner on this market !
The thing that probably frustrates me the most....is that NONE of my RL friends or family for that matter ..understand SL ...however are very quick to judge it and criticize it ! I would love nothing more than to meet my dear RL Friends on here and party the night away !! Not all live close by anymore..and I know that if they ever bothered to jump in ...they would have a BLAST !!
One friend would make a fortune singing Live on sl !! Yes my dear ..u know who you are. Another would be a marvellous teacher on here !! I see our world as a simple extension of the old days of Pen Pals ...!!
I have met SL men who regularly meet their college mates online and play poker. There are large corporations holding board meetings in world ? Why wont my friends just come have a dance ? Alas...they dont. I shall remain the poor sad person who has become addicted.....yes ADDICTED to SL....Happily Addicted. I could be addicted to alcohol, drugs or the Milkman. I think my choice is ok :)
The rumors have circulated regularly amongst my rl friends - that I have 'lost the plot' and 'need help'. Little do they realise - that I have some of the most stimulating conversations with people from America, Canada, England....etc etc...and am learning sooo much about the world by chatting in this global Environment. I am also learning a lot about the technology of Second Life, and building. It is by far, the most creative place I have ever been.
My darling sister managed to publicy scrutinize me at a recent family function ....not long after there had been an OVER published report about a woman divorcing her husband for having an 'online affair ". First of all ..it was near impossible explaining to her the ridiculousness of divorce over a virtual relationship....and second of all ...she kept referring to the people I meet on here as 'not real' ? ....I kept reminding her that I was in fact a REAL person...and so are all the others...she continued to berate me in front of my family, to which I had to turn away and simply say ...You dont understand SL. It is an individual journey for every person, and we all make choices. She very smartly told me ..that her friends on Facebook are REAL !! duh ? As is her name on Facebook ...and her RL pics that she posts for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE ! but noooo ...Im the one whose lost the plot ??? The fact that I participate in SL with a psuedo name of Amber....and NO RL pics of myself...seemed to be of no relevance ????? I didnt judge her choice to publicly disclose her real life name and pics on the internet. ( and she wonders why I wont join it ?? )
I went out recently with a bunch of girlfriends, one of whom was meeting up with a guy she had met 'on the internet'. Nobody at the table questioned this at all. Well perhaps it was discussed... briefly...but we were all excited to meet the 30 year old man my friend was about to meet. This man was driving for an hour and a half to meet my gf ...and 'have a drink'. As we waited, one of my friends said to me...."He could be an axe murderer ?". I scanned the room, which was more like a meat market than anything else...and I said to her calmly..."There are probably a few 'axe murderers' here my dear....!"
Just because someone is online doesnt make them a deviate !!!
BTW...the guy ended up being 46...and a non smoker. My gf smokes like a chimney, is a party animal and this guy was a greenie who didnt smoke or drink and protected the environment. Needless to say he left after half an hour.
The other aspect in sl....is that we dont need to lie. We dont need to manifest false ages, false heights, false stories...because there is no need to !! Many still do...but the reality is ...we dont need to ! We can be who we are ..in the security of our Avatars. The usual 'judgement' from others is basically non existent. We have a small box....that relies on words only. Using the oldest, most basic form of communication, words and our minds. We meet each other and connect with that little box and our words. We decide if we connect with that mind or not....based on the words we share. RL race, colour, shape, size and age - are of no consequence !!
My kinda place :))
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2 comments:
I couldn't agree more. Many of the world's problems occur for that reason alone: hating things one doesn't understand or hasn't experienced firsthand.
I have let only a few friends know that I played Second Life, but gave such a brief intro to it that it pretty much went through one ear and out the other. Plus, they probably didn't care too much anyways. Which s a relief, because for the most part I don't tell my friends that I play Second Life at all since, like in Australia, Second Life and its residents get a bad rep as well.
I would not want to invite my friends to play Second Life because I don't want it to potentially ruin their lives with respect to relationships. I find most Americans I meet who play Second Life have gotten into some relationship trouble that crossed over between the first and second worlds. For that reason, and because most of my first life friends have very happy and stable relationships, I wouldn't want to introduce them to something that might potentially have a negative effect on their happy, stable bonds.
I concur!!
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